Grindr Explained

General insights:

• Muscular standards have dropped 😏
• All daddies seem to be 39 forever 🤔
• A diamond ring doesn’t mean a marriage proposal 😢
• Muscle hunks have a super power of having sex with anyone, anytime
• Visitors get more sex (for the first 7 days)

Dos & Don’ts

• Thanks for informing me you’ve lost all chats (and about your latest travel itinerary)
• You don’t need to be a model but you should be able to take good pictures of yourself
• If you hide your height, I’ll assume you’re 5’5
• If you hide your age, I’ll assume you’re 60
• If your pics are blurry, I’ll assume it’s from 10 years ago
• If your display name is XXXL or SuckMeNow, it will probably won’t work between us
• If I ignored your first tap, I will probably ignore the second and third
• Things you shouldn’t say about yourself: hot, handsome, smart, picky af.
• If your face pics expire, so does my interest in you
• “Good u” isn’t a sentence (and real men use punctuation)
• There’s a right way to reject someone
• You can look for sex without being sleazy
• Our sex will be as good as our conversation
• Don’t send me your homemade porn video unless it won an Oscar

London mapped

• Soho – gay tourists
• Shoreditch House – gays with cool jobs
• E&C – gays with uncool jobs
• White City House – posh gays
• Vauxhall – oh lord
• Clapham North – gays in black sports uniforms

A poem

There once was a “good you” so fine,

With wit and a brilliance that shine.

The rest simply try,

But can’t reach that high—

Perfection like yours won’t align.

Want more? Here’s the longer version.